Yangilocks and the Three Fauna
by The Layman
Summary: While stuck in detention due to their latest Food Fight, Team RWBY decides to tells stories to each other to pass the time. Of course, Yang doesn't do anything the normal way, does she?
1. How it started

Hey everyone, today I'm trying my hand at writing a RWBY fanfiction! (First my Frozen reimagining and now this? What is it with me and fairy tales?)

Anywho, this is pretty much what my mind came up with after reading a could fics already on the site. It might not be the most original idea ever, and I'm not sure if it's been done already (if it has then I haven't come across it yet, so I can't be accused of stealing someone else's work! Yay!), but apparently I've pretty good at making a concept work, if the response to my Winter Queen fic is to be believed.

Well, enough stalling. Let's get on with the most obvious fanfic idea ever!

_**Disclaimer: RWBY and affiliate characters are owned by Monty Oum and Rooster Teeth. Go watch the show, it's awesome! (The fights man, the fights!)**_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"_Ugh!" Ruby groaned, letting her head go limp as she leaned back in her seat in the classroom. Next to her, Yang was in a similar position, only with her head laying on her desk and her voluminous golden tresses splayed out around her, "Detention is soooo boring!" _

"_Tell me about it!" the older sister agreed, "I could be taking Bumblebee out for a much needed ride right now, not...doing nothing like this!" She threw her hands in the air for emphasis. "Say what you will about the actual classes, at least there's _activity _in them." _

"_You think that's bad?" Weiss asked from behind Yang, "This is going on my permanent record!" _

"_It could be worse," Blake interjected. She was sitting on the other side of Yang, her nose buried in another book, "it's not like we got a failing grade in any of our classes, or-" _

"My. Permanent. Record," _the heiress enunciated, "Do none of you realize how important that is?" _

"_Not really." Ruby shrugged, "I always just thought those things with a myth." _

"_Ignoring that…," the heiress said under her breath, making a mental note to see the nurse about the twitch in her eye she was surely developing. After counting backwards from ten, she let out a sigh of resignation, "How did we even end up here?" _

"_We accidentally included Ms. Goodwitch in our latest food fight," Yang supplied, turning around to face Weiss, "She took offence to that." _

_Ruby stretched her arms behind her, "I feel kinda sorry for Team JNPR, they got it worse than us." She shuddered slightly, "I'd _hate _to have to clean the Grimm stables…" _

"_I'd prefer doing that to just sitting around here," Yang said, getting out of her seat and walking up and down (and across) the aisles of desks. This went on for about ten minutes before she slammed her fist down of the closest desk (though not hard enough to break it, heaven forbid she was given _double _detention!), letting out a frustrated grunt. "There's gotta be _something _we can do to pass the time here!" _

"_Why don't you ask Blake if she brought any extra books?" the 15-year-old team leader suggested. _

"_Yeah, books aren't really my thing." She turned to Blake, "No offense, but I'd rather go out and make my own adventures than read about someone else's who doesn't really exist." _

"_None taken," she said, though her twitching bow begged to differ. "_...Muggle."

"_Ooh, ooh, I have an idea!" Weiss interjected, brimming with obviously fake and sarcastic eagerness, "How about we all sit in a circle and make our own stories!" She began counting off on her fingers, "We could make desk forts, and do each other's hair, and to make it _extra special_, we can all pretend we're sitting around a camp fire!" _

_Needless to say, she was still sore about being here. _

_The others stared at her, then at each other, the wheels in their heads starting to turn. Before long, each of them sported a satisfied smile. _

"_You guys know I wasn't being serious," she attempted to clarify, "right?" _

"_That's actually not a bad idea," Blake said, closing her book, "I for one am all for new material." _

"_None of us are professional authors," Weiss tried to reason before she realized the obvious flaw in her argument, "Correction, _none us know how to write prose!"

"_That doesn't matter, it's just for fun," Ruby protested, before climbing on her desk and striking a triumphant pose, "As team leader, I officially decree that rest of this detention period will be compri__sed of the official Team RWBY bonding exercise of...Storytelling!" She then jumped down, moved her seat next to Yang's, and sat down, her arms resting on her knees and her chin resting in her palms. Blake also added her chair to the circle, and Yang turned around and straddled her chair in reverse, resting her arms on the back. (Blake kept her hands folded in her lap.) _

_They all stared expectantly at Weiss. _

"_And what do you all want?" she demanded. _

"_This was your idea," Ruby explained, "you start us off; you've got to have some great stories, being the 'heiress of the Schnee Dust Company' and all." _

"_Not really, everything got pretty repetitive after a while." Having her fill of being put on the spot, she decided to turn the tables and put some of the attention on their "esteemed leader", "How about you start. After all, a leader's supposed to lead, right?"_

"_I could come up with something if you want," Blake offered when she noticed Ruby looking uncertain about what to say. _

"_You know," Yang said, gesturing to herself, "_I _used to be quite the storyteller when Ruby and I were younger."_

"_Really?!" Blake and Weiss said in unison; Blake more so because in all the time they'd been partnered up, the blonde haired brawler never struck her as the type that enjoyed a good yarn, much less make one up herself. She seemed more of the "never slows down, always going forward" type to the faunus. _

"_Yup," the blonde answered, popping the P, "we'd have sleepovers in each other's rooms all the time, and we read at least five different picture books before our parent made us go to sleep." _

"_Those were good times…," Ruby said dreamily, sighing at the memories. _

"_I don't suppose you remember any of them?" Weiss asked, politely refraining from pointing out that reading stories and making them up were completely different from each other. Honestly, she just wanted to get on with it; not like she could really occupy herself elsewhere. _

"_A couple, including my personal favorite." Yang cleared her throat, and Ruby and Blake leaning in closer. "This is the story of Goldilocks and the Three Fauna." _

_to be continued..._

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Don't worry, the story itself is being worked on as we speak (Well, _I_ speak...), so with luck you should see it in a couple of days. In the mean time, go check out these fics if you're still itching for a good laugh: Lily Valkyrie: Remnant's Most Adorable Criminal Mastermind by SAmaster01, RWBY: Orientation by DJ Mcloud, and Faun-Filled Pranks by xT-Zealot. If you happen to read the one by Mr. Mcloud ask for a follow-up story, since I think there's still more humor to be milked out of the concept.


	2. Goldilocks part 1

_OK, this took a little longer than I thought it would, but here's some actual story for all y'all that have been waiting! Here it is!_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Once upon a time there was a beautiful (here meaning _totally_ sexy) young woman by the name of Yang Xiao-Long, who was-

"_Wait, stop right there!" _

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"_Weiss, I'm telling a story; please hold all questions until the end of the narrative." _

"_This just going to be some self aggrandizing tripe about how awesome you are, isn't it?" Weiss accused, glaring pointedly and the blond brawler. _

"_Nnnnnot really?" Yang answered, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head. She had to give Weiss some credit, the girl could really be intimidating when she tried. _

"_Weiss, let Yang tell the story," the young leader pleaded, "She's really good at this, just give her a chance, please?" Ruby then put on the cutest face she possibly could: eyes wide and glistening, her lips formed into a pout and quivering, and her hands clasped together pleadingly. _

It's enough to give someone diabetes_, the heiress thought, her resolve rapidly crumbling under the onslaught of cuteness. _

"_...fine! Continue the story," she relented, sitting back huffily. _

__/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

...who was called Goldilocks by her friends because of her shiny blond hair. All in all she was a pretty normal girl: friends with everyone in town, measurements that could turn a gay man straight and a straight girl gay, five time undefeated-

"_Yang!"_

"_Alright, alright! I'll stop."_

Anyway, one day she decided to go for a run in the woods (a girl's gotta stay in shape, after all), since it was a beautiful day outside and it would be a crime not to enjoy it. After about an hour or so she decided to take a short rest in a pleasant glade she came across.

...Right after she got rid of the pack of Beowolves in it.

"Alright boys," she said, bringing up her fists, "Momma needs a new fur coat!"

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

In another part of the forest, a little ways off, there was a small cottage that belonged to a trio of Fauna girls: a cat Faunus, a fox Faunus, and bear Faunus. They all lived there happily, content to be away from the fast paced life of the big cities.

"I mean _really_, what's the harm in getting some nicer food once in a while? All we ever eat around here is fish and venison, and not even the good kind!"

...except for the Fox, who had more sophisticated tastes than her two companions.

"We've been through this already, Snow," the cat Faunus, Belle, reminded Snow, "we don't go into town unless it's an emergency and there's no other choice; remember the fiasco that happened last time?"

Snow's fox ears twitched, then flattened in annoyance as the point sunk in, calling back memories of their disastrous last trip into town for some much needed medical supplies.

They were still weren't allowed within 3 kilometers, unless it was for the aforementioned emergency.

"I'm aware," she said, "but I feel that this _is_ an emergency."

Before Belle could ask why, they heard a commotion erupt from the kitchen, followed by the declaration "_Nothing caught on fire...much!"_.

"Because it's _Rosey's_ turn to make supper."

"_It's almost ready!_" Rosey, the bear Faunus, called again, sticking her head around the corner, her round ears wagging excitedly, "You guys should probably set some bowls out, by the way."

Belle's cat ears drooped in resignation.

"Let's just survive tonight," the cat Faunus sighed, trudging off to retrieve the proper tableware.

The Fauna girls had lived together like this for as long as they could remember, since the three of them were living on the streets when they were still children. By a stroke of sheer luck they'd found an abandoned cabin and made it their home, living comfortably for years. For the most part things reminded relatively peaceful, save for the occasional argument that managed to blow out of control. (Case in point, the incident that got them ban from the town.)

"I hope you guys are ready for a taste sensation the likes of which you've never seen before!" Rosey declared, carrying a steaming pot over to the table. Coasters had been set out beforehand, so she set the pot down on one and scooped some of the contents into each of the three bowls. "Bon appetit!"

"...it's porridge," Snow deadpanned, looking blankly at the viscous paste in her bowl.

"Yes it is!" the bear Faunus confirmed emphatically, looking quite proud of herself.

"I think you may have oversold it a bit," said Belle, picking up a spoonful of porridge and letting it plop back into the rest.

"It's the only thing I know how to make... " she said morosely, before shaking it off and looking expectant. "Well, try some!"

The other two Fauna, not really seeing a way out (what with Rosey starting wide eyed in anticipation at them) each scooped some porridge on their spoons, bringing it carefully to their mouths.

However, all the caution in the world couldn't stop them from burning the roofs of their mouths with the stuff.

"Too hot?" Rosey asked.

"I should say!" Snow fumed, "You know I have a delicate palette; I'll be lucky if I can taste anything again after this!"

"Not everyone has your iron jaws," Belle pointed out, fanning her mouth until the heat died away, "Just because you can eat everything under the sun doesn't mean we can."

Rosey drooped her head sorrowfully, tears causing her eyes to become shining. That, coupled with the the way her faunus ears tried to fold in on themselves made for an image that was nearly impossible to stay mad at.

"...Why don't we go out for a little bit while the food cools down," the cat Faunus suggested, "We could get some watercress from the stream, or whatever other herbs we happen to find."

"As much as I'd rather not do this on an empty stomach, the thought of adding some flavor to the meal is more appealing," Snow reluctantly agreed. "It...probably won't be that bad with a little seasoning."

Rosey perked up at this. "I'll go grab my cape!"

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_"Yes, Ruby?" Yang sighed; her younger sister was sticking her hand in the air as far as it could go, and it was admittedly quite distracting. _

_"Rosey's supposed to be me, right?" She pointed to her face in emphasis, grinning widely. _

_"Possibly...," Yang said coyly, twirling a bit her hair, "you could interpret it that way." _

_"Then I would be Belle," Blake reasoned. _

_Yang just smiled noncommittally._

_"So wait, why'd you make me a fox?" Weiss asked, a little irritated at the possible implications of the creative liberty. However, she noticed Blake staring at her with her eyebrow raised. "I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being part animal," the heiress defended, "I just want to know her reasoning for it." _

"_What reasoning? I just picked different animals at random for the Faunus characters," Yang explained, seemingly genuine, "Blame your own imagination if it's bothering you." _

_Weiss would have protested that she wasn't invested enough for that to be the case, but thought better of it and instead went with the excuse of "I suppose it must have just been my mind finding a way to fight off the boredom." and allowed Yang to continue. _

"_Now then, where was I?...Oh right!"_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

By this point Goldilocks had finished giving the Beowolf pack the thrashing of its life and was sitting under an oak tree to take a well deserved breather.

"That was fun," she said to herself, "Maybe I'll come back once the pack repopulates and do it again! ...though I probably should have left a few of them alive for that." All around her the dead, lifeless bodies of the Beowolves lay scattered about the glade, slowly dissolving into the ground. It was probably a bit cruel of her to slaughter _all of them_ so brutally, but they deserved it; one of them tried to bite at her long, curly hair, and she just wouldn't stand for that!

"Mangy mutts tryin' to mess with a girl's hair…," she muttered, shifting her back into a more comfortable position, "Maybe I'll just catch a quick Forty Winks before I head back." A reasonable state of comfort achieved, Goldilocks closed her eyes and drifted off into the world of dreams….

BOOM!

"_Eep!" _

"_Pipe down, Ruby!"_

The mighty thunderclap shocked Goldilocks awake, yanking her from the arms of Morpheus. Gone was the pleasant, sunny glade she'd fought the Beowolves in, now replaced with with howling winds and dark clouds that blotted out the sun. A few of the Beowolf corpses were still in the process of dissolving, only now the wind grabbed the free particles and carried them off before they could join their brethren in the ground.

"How long was I asleep for?" she wondered, rubbing her arms to fight off the chill of the wind. It couldn't have been more than an hour, she figured, or else everything would be darker when she woke up. She didn't remember the weather forecast saying it was going to rain today either, further baffling her.

However, a flash of lightning and an even _louder_ thunderclap convinced her that thinking about erratic weather patterns could wait until she got her sexy butt home! So she ran off before another bolt of lightning decided to use her for target practice.

Which would be fine if she hadn't just picked a random direction to run in, thereby getting herself lost in the woods.

She didn't noticed this for about ten minutes. What made things worse was that she started to feel droplets of water splash on her mane of gold, which upgraded her objective from "get out of the forest" to "FIND COVER YESTERDAY!".

_No way I'm letting these luscious locks get damp,_ she thought as she ran, _not after all the trouble I just went through to get them like this! Seriously, the prices of beauty products nowadays is positively _criminal. _I mean I know the rampant Dust thefts have caused a few shortages here and there but who would have thought _volumizing shampoo _would be part of the hellooooo cabin!_

The Almighty Creator must have been feeling generous today, because up ahead was a quaint little log cabin with the cutest little porch. She felt more raindrops in her hair and poured on the speed, making it under the cover of the porch just as the skies opened up the floodgates.

Her follicles out of harm's way, Goldilocks turned her attention to the cabin itself, seeing light through the windows.

"Hello, anybody home?" She knocked on the door, hoping someone was home, when the door creaked open on its own.

Apparently it was already open already.

"Well," she said as she let herself in, "it's not 'breaking in' if the door's unlocked!"

Inside the cabin was pretty much what Goldilocks expected, though what surprised her was how much larger it seemed now that she was inside; it seemed smaller on the outside, though that was probably because it had gotten dark outside.

The decor, for the most part, was the standard cabin fare: wooden furniture, candles everywhere for light, and flowers placed around to make everything seem less drab. Off to the side was a staircase that probably lead to the bedrooms, and ahead was a table set for three.

And in each spot sat a bowl filled with porridge.

Goldi's stomach growled so loud that for a moment she thought it was the thunder outside.

"I guess it has been a while since I've eaten...," she realized, patting her (sexy) stomach. Looking around once more (if someone else were there, she'd have asked before taking anything) she zipped over to one of the chairs and snatched up the spoon resting nearby, "No sense in letting all this food go to waste!" She removed a lid with bear ears on it (it was _ADORABLE_!) and dug into the meal with gusto!

Only to spit it right out before it burned a hole in her tongue.

"_Yowza_ that's hot!" She fanned her mouth, wishing she had some water right about now. "OK, not eating any more of _that_ bowl. Seriously, who likes their food that hot?" Hoping the other bowls weren't nearly as dangerous, she reached for the-

"_Hold on just a minute!"_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_Yang let out a long suffering sigh, "What is it now, Weiss?" _

"_I have a few issues with this character of yours," the heiress said, "For starters, who just walks into people's houses and eats their food? That's completely savage! Not to mention her seeming lack of intelligence-" Yang's eyebrow twitched. "-just shoving the porridge into her mouth without taking steps to cool it down." _

"_Weiss," Blake said placatingly, "it's just a story." _

"_So what if it's just a story?" Weiss shot back, "It's full of so many inconsistencies that I'm surprised that, that…." Weiss struggled to find the right words to express her frustration, but none came. "...I'm just surprised!" _

"_You know she's just retelling a children's story," Ruby asked, "right?" She reached into her book bag and pulled out a small book with a picture of a silhouetted girl with curly blond hair on the cover. "See?" _

"_...My point still stands," Weiss adamantly stood fast. _

"_You know," Blake interjected. Whether her comrade's criticisms were true or not, they were starting to get on her nerves, "you're probably over thinking this." _

"_But-"_

"_It's OK to just get lost in a story sometimes," she continued, "even if the story isn't the best." _

_Knowing when she was defeated, Weiss sighed and threw up her hands. "Fine, I'll play along!" she relented. _

"_Very big of you, Weiss!" Yang congratulated. "Now, if there are no more interruptions, Let's get back to the story!" _

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Deciding to take her chances, Goldilocks tried the porridge in the bowl without a cover on it. (The third bowl had a snowflake patterned handkerchief over it.) Not wanting to repeat her sizzling experience, she scooped some porridge on her spoon and gingerly poked it with her tongue.

And to her great surprise it was cool to the touch! She could actually eat this bowl!

...if it didn't taste so nasty.

"Blech! I've eaten cardboard with more flavor than this!" She pushed the bowl away and turned her attention to the third place at the table, as well as the bowl that sat there.

Her stomach growled again, erasing any doubts she had about trying the the final bowl. She repeated the same temperature check as the last bowl (it checked out, though it still had a bit of heat to it) and ate a spoonful.

"Wow, that's not half bad!" she exclaimed. It still wasn't the tastiest thing ever, but the heat helped mask that fact. With renewed gusto she proceeded to finish of the bowl in about three minutes.

Her belly now full Goldilocks went over by the fireplace, where she found three chairs. She made her way to the largest chair and sat down, immediately sinking into the cushions.

"Nope!" she said, popping the P. She tried the next chair, a wooden straightback, but couldn't get comfortable in it no matter how much she fidgeted.

The third chair, which could generously be called a beanbag, turned out to be the winner; it somehow combined the firmness of the wooden chair with the softness of the cushions into one gloriously comfortable seat.

"I _need_ to get one of these for myself," she said, snuggling deeper into the bag.

As she stared at the ceiling her thoughts once again turned to the owner (owners?) of the cabin and why they weren't in it.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Said owners of the cabin were, at the moment, hiding in a cave to escape the torrential rain, each for different reasons.

"I can't believe it started raining _just_ as we started heading back!" Snow exclaimed, frustrated. She was sitting as far back as the tiny cave would allow, hugging her knees to her chest, "Now the ground is going to be all muddy when the rain stops, and it's going to get all over my dress!"

"It won't be so bad as long as we stick to the grass," Belle said, sitting slightly ahead of the fox Faunus and looking like she expected the rain to leap out and attack her. "Hopefully it shouldn't last too much longer."

"Aaah!" Rosey said, trying to catch the water that dripped from the mouth of the cave in her mouth. Unlike her two friends, Rosey actually liked playing in the rain; she didn't worry about its effects like Snow, and it didn't cause her physical discomfort like Belle.

It was the thunder and lightning that she didn't like, scurrying behind Belle when a huge clap sounded.

"Don't worry," Belle told the young cub, patting her shoulder comfortingly, "if the thunder is that loud that means the storm should pass soon."

"OK…," she whimpered.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Back at the cabin, Goldilocks was starting to get sleepy. Though she couldn't see through the overcast sky, her body knew that it was evening out now. By now the Grimm would all be out in force, and heading back would be too dangerous, even for her.

She hadn't explored the second level of the cabin yet, so she figured now was as good a time as any to do so. Easing out of the bean bag (seriously, you could get addicted to those things!) she made her way up the stairs and into a loft area. It was smaller than the downstairs, though it was strangely cosy.

Like the downstairs, the theme of threes continued with the three beds she found. (She was starting to get the feeling that at least three people lived here...)

She tried the smallest bed (it had bear blanket on it), and encountered the same problem as with the cushy chair. Namely, that the bed nearly devoured her and transported her to another universe. Fortunately, she managed to grab the bedpost before she slipped past the event horizon.

Finally safe on the floor, she cautiously tried the next bed, which had a cat motif going. At first touch it felt much firmer than the last bed (she shivered involuntarily), and upon further inspection was revealed to be nearly as stiff as a board.

"Who in their right mind would sleep on this?" she wondered, hopping off the bed and rubbing her aching back. When she was sure she wouldn't need a back brace by the ripe old age of 25 (or however old Ms. Goodwitch is…) she she sat on the third bed. This one, unlike the other two, was neither too soft or too hard; it ended up somewhere in the middle, and almost pulled her into dreamland then and there with how unholy comfortable it was.

"Juuuust right!" she sighed, snuggling deeper into the veritable _cloud_ she was laying on. Soon she could no longer resist the arms of Morpheus and drifted off into the realm of sleep.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

By this point the rain had stopped, and the sisterhood was almost back at the reclusive place of residence.

"I _told_ you my shoes would get ruined!" Snow complained, "'_Oh don't worry Snow, it won't be that muddy in the grass, you precious shoes will be fine!'_ Well, they're not fine now, are they?"

"It's just a little mud, it'll wash right out," Rosey said, hiding slightly behind Belle, "Besides, don't you have, like, five other pairs of shoes that are exactly the same?"

"But _this_ pair was ruined!" the fox Faunus insisted. "Now I'm going to have to sneak into town to get a replacement pair!"

"I'm sure it'll all come out with a little elbow grease," Belle said, walking in the front of the line they were in; behind her was Snow, who was holding her "ruined" shoes in her hand and stomping along barefoot, and following her was an indomitably cheerful Rosey. "We're almost home, we'll deal with it then."

_To be continued..._

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_Seriously though people, took a while. Hopefully the next and last chapter won't be so lengthy in coming. (And if anyone knows any good Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter jokes I could through in, don't be shy in sharing!) _


	3. Part 2 and Epilogue

_Well, I finally got the last of it done, folks! Personally, I think it turned out pretty good, but that remains for you guys reading it to decide._

So let's see how this bad boy ends!

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"Did we forget to close the door when we left?" Rosey asked when the three Fauna came in sight of the cabin.

Belle rushed to the door, her cat ears alert for the sound of any intruders. On reflex she curled her hands into claws, itching for an excuse to use them.

She sniffed the air, trying to filter out the scent of Rosey's porridge; yep, someone had _definitely_ been here while they were out. In fact, from what she could tell, they were most likely still here. If that was indeed the case, then they were probably waiting for-

"Someone ate my porridge!" Snow cried, staring aghast at her empty bowl.

"Mine too!" cried Rosey, rushing over to her own place, "they didn't finish it though…." She scooped a bit on her spoon and spat it out after tasting, "And now it's ruined! I'm gonna hafta heat up the whole batch again!"

"Um, guys?" Belle looked over at her housemates, "I think there's more important things here to worry about than porridge."

"You're absolutely right!" agreed Snow, walking over to the sitting area and pointing emphatically at her fancy chair, "Someone was _also_ sitting in my spot!"

Belle slapped her forehead, taking care not to speer herself with her own claws.

"It's gonna take _hours_ to get my beanbag comfy again!" Rosey whined, squirming uncomfortably on her amorphous bag of beans.

Belle shook her head, "How can you guys worry about stuff like that at a time like this?"

"How can you _not_?" Snow countered, gesturing to both the table and the chairs, "Whoever this was touched you stuff too."

"So it doesn't bother you at all that the intruder is still here?"

"Poor baby…," Rosey cooed, gently patting her seat of choice.

"Look, our stuff will still be here in five minutes," the cat Faunus explained, "we'll have plenty of time to deal with it _after _we take care of the intruder."

"_Fine_…," Snow sighed, grabbing Rosey by her collar and dragging her along, "come on Squirt, let's do this."

"Nooo!" the young bear Faunus whined, futilely reaching out for her precious chair, "I'll come back for you Baby, I promise!"

After they were able to get Rosey to focus on the task at hand, the three Faunus girls slowly crept up the stairs, hoping the intruder hadn't noticed them yet. (Not likely, considering the commotion they were just making...) Belle led the way, followed by Snow and Rosey (the latter of whom was kinda melancholy now).

"Whoever it is is still up here," Belle whispered, "I can hear them breathing."

"For their sake, they'd better not have touched any more of my stuff," Snow growled, her ears folded back against her head.

"My beautiful chair…," Rosey mumbled.

Belle motioned for them to be quiet as they reached the top of the stairs. She peeked over the top, scanning their sleeping quarters, going over every inch carefully. When she didn't see anything immediately out of place she stepped into the room, giving the other two the all clear a moment later, "You guys need to see this…."

Rosey and Snow joined Belle at the foot of Snow's bed, the cat Faunus staring down at a human with long, golden hair who lay asleep in it.

"...She's dead," Snow fumed when she saw who was in her bed, "this is the final straw."

"Don't be like that!" Rosey chastised the fox Faunus, gesturing to the young woman asleep in front of them, "Look at her, she looks so happy!"

"_I_ should be the one asleep and happy," Snow countered, "_in my own bed_."

"How did she even find this place?" Belle asked, trying to get her friends to refocus, "We're in the middle of the woods away from any hiking trails."

"It doesn't matter how she got here, what matters is that she needs to go!" Snow then got down on her knees and began fishing under her bed.

"Snow...what are you doing?"

"I'm solving our problem," she said, pulling out a rapier and giving it a few practice swings.

"Do we really have to kill her?" Rosey asked, tears starting to form in her eyes, "Couldn't we just, like...I don't know, take her back to the outskirts of town while she's asleep or something?"

"Then she'd just find her way back here later. Or worse, bring back other humans who'll want to fillet us."

Rosey drooped her head, her ears folding in on themselves, unconsciously backing away from Snow's bed.

"I hate to agree with you about this," Belle sighed, "but you make a good point; we can't have others knowing where we live. Just make it quick, OK Snow?"

"Not a problem," Snow said, a manic gleam in her eye.

Rosey hid behind Belle, not wanting to witness what was about to happen.

With an evil smile creeping onto her lips, Snow raised the sword over the golden haired girl's throat-

"_NO!"_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"_Something wrong, Weiss?" Yang asked, looking surprised at the young heiress's outburst. _

"_Of course something's wrong!" Weiss balked, shocked at how blasse everyone else was being at the dark direction the story just took, "I mean, they're just gonna _kill _her? _REALLY_? Just for knowing where they lived? That's insane! That's horrendous! That's, that's…." She stuttered as she desperately searched for the proper word. "...barbaric! How on earth could they even…?"_

"_Then it's probably for the best you interrupted me then," Yang said, "before the Three Fauna girls started eating Goldilocks's corpse." _

_Weiss just stared aghast at the blonde bard, almost unable to process what she just heard. (Ruby and Blake looked uneasy as well, since Yang looked completely serious and they couldn't tell if she was joking or not.) _

"_...are you mental or something?" she asked, becoming more livid, "That is possibly the worst thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth, and I've heard your puns! Why would you even make them do that? Faunus may look like animals, but that doesn't mean they _act _like animals!" _

"_Most of the time…," Yang said, earning her a glare from Blake. (She was still a bit sore over the whole incident with her nemesi- the laser pointer.) _

"_My point is that the Faunus girls were _completely _out of character with how they were presented in the rest of the story! None of them were that grotesque; Belle was the uptight one, Rosey was the naive one, and Snow was obviously the responsible and fashionable leader of the trio." _

"_Were we listening to the same story?" Ruby asked. _

"_And why would you even do something so horrid to Goldilocks?" Weiss continued, "Despite some questionable morality regarding breaking and entering she didn't even _do _anything to them; she didn't even know they lived in that cabin or saw their faces or WHY ARE YOU SMILING!?" _

_Yang was indeed smiling, quite smugly in fact, apparently oblivious to the horror on her friends' (and sister's) faces at her surprise dark plop twist. _

_Weiss was now looking like she would literally blow the top of her head off any minute._

"_So what you're saying," Yang said slyly, "is that you actually_ care _what happened in my story?"_

"_Of course I-" Weiss said, before suddenly realizing what was going on. "I mean...it was just so shocking when you-"_

"_What happened to the Weiss from before who thought amatuer storytelling was beneath her?" _

"_Yeah Weiss, you looked like you were really getting into it," Ruby brought up. _

"_I was not!" the heiress protested, "I was just- I...Blake, tell them I wasn't enjoying this!" _

"_You kinda were," Blake said hesitantly. _

_"Weiss, just admit you were having a good time," Yang insisted. "Seriously, none of us will think any less of you for it." _

_Weiss was caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand she knew Yang was right and there was no harm in admitting that she had become hooked by the blonde's storytelling. After all, she's loosened up considerably since coming to Beacon and had eventually come to see the rest of Team RWBY as friends rather than necessary evils. _

_...on the other hand, she still had nearly twenty years of Noble pride ingrained in her, and it was trying its hardest to win the battle. (The fact that Ruby, Blake and Yang were all staring at her expectantly wasn't really helping matters any.) _

_"...Alright, you win," she relented, "I was enjoying the story. Weiss Schnee, Beacon Academy's 'Ice Queen', actually cared what happened to characters in a fairy tale. Stop the presses!" She then crossed her arms huffily over her chest, "Happy now?" _

"_Actually, yes, I am," Yang said, stretching her arms out as she turned back around in her seat. "And don't worry, I wasn't really gonna make the Fauna girls kill and eat Goldilocks." _

"_Seriously?" Weiss asked, trying not to let too much relief show in her voice. _

"_Yeah, I just wanted to mess with you a little, what with you looking so into it and all."_

"_...," Weiss said, looking less relieved than before. In fact, she was looking downright murderous towards the blonde brawler in front of her. _

"_This can't be good," Ruby said as she hid behind Blake. _

"_How _dare _you!" she spat, "What in all of Remnant gives you the right to toy with my emotions like that! Almighty Creator help me…!" _

_She then leapt at Yang, who managed to dodge out of the way and, for once in her life, went on the _de_fensive. _

"_Oh come on Weiss, it was just some harmless teasing, you know I'd never actually- Wait, where'd you get those scissors? You- you keep those away from me! Weiss, don't you _dare _come any closer to me with those things! I'll defend myself; don't think I won't hit a girl!" _

"_Should we do something?" Ruby asked Blake. _

_Blake looked back at the young team leader, "You want to get between those two right now?" Ruby looked over at her sister and her best friend: Yang was defending herself with one of the chairs, while Weiss kept probing with the scissors, trying to find an opening to render terrible retribution on Yang's luscious locks. _

"_Why don't we just let them work it out?" she suggested. _

"_Seems wise." After watching the fight for a few more minutes, Blake turned back to Ruby, "So...you got any other storybooks with you?"_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_**A/N:** And there we have it! Well, what do y'all think? Wanna see another RWBY fairy tale? Cause I've actually got an idea for Team JNPR, I just need the right fairy tail to go with them._

Anywho, I'd love to hear suggestions about anything, and be sure to check out the other RWBY fics on the site, including the three I mentioned last chapter. (And go watch the show, too! Season 2 has a ton of references to Rooster Teeth and Achievement Hunter, see if you can find them all!)


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